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Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis
Changing Lives!

Anger Management

 

Whether it's you or someone close to you we can help.  Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems—problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion. You don’t have to hand your power away any more, you can learn, understand and control anger.

The Nature of Anger

 

Anger is "an emotional state that can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," Like other emotions, it causes physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

We all get angry, sometimes.  It goes back to that defense mechanism "fight or flight" response.  Anger gives you strength to prepare for the situation and when you get angry, you lost control.   Why?  It's because you need to respond immediately to an emergency.

When this happens, your subconscious takes over, it doesn't take any time to think and instead just responds to learned behaviors.

Of course anger in the modern world comes out in many forms.  With the added complexities of our modern day world, more and more people are finding it hard in controlling their anger.

Anger can be caused by both external and internal events. You could be angry at a specific person (Such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.

 

Expressing Anger

 

In most cases you are angry towards someone else.  There are many causes for this, but as you know getting angry does not help anyone.  Peoples reaction towards you changes, you yourself feel stressed, anxious, tense.

The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats; it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviors, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. A certain amount of anger, therefore, is necessary to our survival.

On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and common sense place limits on how far our anger can take us.

People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are:

  • Expressing

  • Suppressing

  • Calming

Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive—not aggressive—manner is the healthiest way to express anger. To do this, you have to learn how to make clear what your needs are, often making “I” statements instead of “You” statements (“I feel hurt, when you act like this” rather then “You act stupid!”) and how to get them met, without hurting others. Being assertive doesn't mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

 

Anger can be suppressed, and then converted or redirected. This happens when you stop thinking about anger, and focus on something positive. The aim is to convert it into more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that if it isn't allowed outward expression, your anger can turn inward—on yourself. Anger turned inward may cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

 

Unexpressed anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven't learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren't likely to have many successful relationships.

 

Finally, you can calm down inside. This means not just controlling your outward behavior, but also controlling your internal responses, taking steps to lower your heart rate, calm yourself down, and let the feelings subside. Hypnosis can help you learning these new behavioral patterns and strengthen the positive responses in you.

 

Why Are Some More Angry Than Others?

 

Well some people really are more "hotheaded" than others are; they get angry more easily and more intensely than the average person does. There are also those who don't show their anger in loud spectacular ways but are chronically irritable and grumpy. Easily angered people don't always curse and throw things; sometimes they withdraw socially, sulk, or get physically ill.

People who are easily angered generally have what some psychologists call a low tolerance for frustration, meaning simply that they feel that they should not have to be subjected to frustration, inconvenience, or annoyance. They can't take things in stride, and they're particularly infuriated if the situation seems somehow unjust: for example, being corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people this way?

 

Genetic or physiological: There is evidence that some children are born irritable, touchy, and easily angered, and that these signs are present from a very early age. Research has also found that family background plays a role. Typically, people who are easily angered come from families that are disruptive, chaotic, and not skilled at emotional communications.

 

Cultural. Anger is often regarded as negative; we're taught that it's all right to express anxiety, depression, or other emotions but not to express anger. As a result, we don't learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

 

The Key to Anger

 

Hypnosis is so effective in teaching anger management because it works on the 'same level' as anger. 

 

When you are extremely angry, you are in an emotional trance state, where the validity of other peoples' opinions no longer applies. Just like in a dream, you are able to hold bizarre opinions which afterwards, can seem stupid even to you!  But during the anger trance, you believe fully in the anger's view of things.

 

To get control over anger, you have to break this trance before it gets a chance to get going.  We will help you break out of the anger trance, stop it from ruining your relationships, and damaging your health.  You will gain the flexibility to remain calm and objective in the sort of situations that would have made you angry, and enable yourself to create mutually beneficial outcomes.

 

Effective anger management is one of the most important emotional skills you can learn.  It is quite apparent how anger can damage relationships, and that is bad enough. But anger has also been shown to be terribly damaging to the heart, especially in men.  When you become angry, the pumping efficiency of the heart drops, often seriously, leading to arterial damage, making anger management one of the most important emotional skills!

 

 

Please contact me by email or phone to arrange an appointment.

 

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